I bought Instagram followers and I think it lowered my self esteem

Yup, its true! I was sucked into the instagram craze. I envied those perfect posts of rose on a boat with 5 girlfriends and 2,000 likes. So when this woman from @fashiongrammer emailed me with an intriguing offer, 1,000 followers for $39.00….real followers she promised, I was over the moon excited! I felt that my @busygirlboston instagram page would be a game changer after being featured on a huge page. But two days later I realized that I was talking to Monica from China and that every account that followed me back was fake. In the long run though, I realized that it didn’t even matter because paying for real followers, in the end, is still fake.

I had to take a look at myself. Why did I care how many likes I got on a post? Why was I stuck in comparison mode? I have a successful business and happy life, did I really need outside validation to prove that to myself and to others? I realize though, that I am not alone. A lot of women (and men) deal with social media envy. To put things into perspective though, I was invited to a social media dinner last Fall at a chic new restaurant in town and sat next to famous fashion, beauty, food and lifestyle bloggers. After hearing a bit about their lives, I felt myself sighing of relief. Some of the bloggers were still living with their parents, working in shitty nine to five jobs, and truthfully a good amount of them seemed lost. I hope that they and everyone else who suffers from instagram obsession will find their way, but it put everything into perspective for me. It didn’t feel good to realize that I had a lot going on simply by comparing my real life to insta-famous women’s real lives as well, but it did help me make sense of it all. Social media doesn’t show our real lives, it highlights the perfect moments, selfies, and cupcakes that took ten shots to get just right. It takes 30 hashtags and spending the time to follow and like other accounts to get some love back.

So, after being a little disgusted with myself and by the entire process, I took a step back. I promised myself that from now on, all of my posts and online sharing will be about giving something to my readers, and not about getting something in return. As soon as I did this, I saw such a big shift. The people who respond to me, the community I have created, and everything about my new social media world feels authentic, real and true to myself.

So I ask you all to ask yourself this question before you post anything on social media from today forward: Am I looking to give something or get something?

Jordan Bach talked a lot about this during his discussion at Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie MasterClass. Someone who I looked up to had come out and admitted his own shame and guilt around his social media behavior, and it made it safe for me to come out about mine. So thank you, Jordan Bach for your inspiration. I hope that you all take a look at how your posts make you feel, and I encourage you to ask yourself the question above every time you post.

Cheers to living our authentic lives on & offline!

Author:  Kristina Tsipouras, Founder of Boston Business Women, CEO of Moroccan Magic, Founder of Busy Girl Daily